Reflections

“Even when I was touring and making tons of money, logic would say stick with it. But there continued to be some instinct, against logic, against good advice, that told me I should quit”-Sting

A reflection from a man who sold over 100 million records, named Gordon, whose mother and kids call him by his stage name “Sting”. I’m quite certain that looking over my shoulder from time to time is not such a bad idea, either. I just can’t stay there long mentally. Then again, I get forced reminders of what it used to be like. Here is a text I received the other day:…..”Just woke from a fantastic dream. Epic party at your place. Craps being played in the back. Drinks all overt. Giant disco ball. Fist fight outside. Insane. Then about 8o cops show up. Last thing before I wake, a giant cop looks at me and says, ‘boy, you are some kinda loose right now. I spit back, hell yea I am….this is b’s place, it’s what we do”……still looking over his shoulder I suppose, too…..but that text was priceless. He simply reminded me of the party life that I once found so alluring, but had no idea that in the end..it was the gift of desperation we hear about, that saved me. Not everyone is a candidate, but that same idea of fun eventually found me on the front porch of my own place, drunk, strung out, and watching the morning buzz turn into nightfall. Day after miserable day. And no one could fix me but God. I never could get enough of any of it. I’ve passed out many nights and remembered thinking…”you may not wake up tomorrow”….but, I did, disgustingly in my own urine, and in that melee of madness I finally was rendered helpless……today, I make new memories sober. I went to the GA/FLA Line concert last night, sober, and danced liked nobody’s business.  A true miracle today to see myself in others and how much I’ve changed.  Thankfully, that gift of desperation forced me to become willing. God does the rest. The party ball came down, the craps board has been trashed, there is no liquor in the cabinet, and the cops no longer show up. Imagine that….as I “trudge the road of happy destiny”….good day!….b

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