Changes

when-the-winds-of-change-blow

Nothing can create a sense of the unknown quite like change. Changes with job, family, friends, relationships, or living situations are just some of the various examples. The type of change to a man prepared to take on challenges, both obvious and hidden, which brings out a survival mentality and turns his attention to opportunities that he had never seen before. These radical shifts in thinking and living really do occur, but change can create fear. Fear of the unknown, running out of money, or not making it by other’s standards. So that brings me to my point…….what is success, and how can I best define it by my life’s circumstances and all the events that occur outside my control?….…which, coincidentally, is about everything. I can control what time I get up and choose what brand of coffee I drink, other than that, it’s pretty much acceptance of the what is, and not the what if’s. Living in the “what ifs” of life is chaotic and taxing. Throw a change in the wrinkle and it throws me for a complete loop. A mind bender of sorts. I’m all up in my head, wondering when the shoes going to drop, or the IRS will send another notice, or why the water bill got looked over last month. I can create the chaos, in a few short minutes, and it is all between my ears. Turning my will and life over to the care of God doesn’t mean I don’t take it back. I get in my will, start running the show and unfortunately, for those around me the by products are obvious. I’m acting out, behaving irrationally, and have totally “awfulized” situations that, to most people, are seemingly manageable. It is the scenarios I create that keep me on the cutting edge of the adrenaline rush I get from pushing the envelope as far as I can without getting caught. Maybe you don’t think this way…..but for an addict like me, there is very little gray area. It’s a world of black and white……. But how about when a man becomes willing to change?….a radical, 360 degree shift….and he lets go of the control, manipulation, and lies. Then, he becomes free. It’s a process, and it doesn’t happen overnight. The fruit of change is the rewards I get from sober living…..having feelings again, laughter from an unexplained place inside of me, and the joys of viewing the world from a totally different landscape. What once was barren and desolate has been replaced with a picturesque view of why God made me and what my purpose is……to carry the message of hope that change is inevitable but not avoidable……good day!…..b

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