Run the race

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My sponsor reminded me last week that life is a marathon and not a sprint. I’m grateful God put someone in my life to help me understand that nothing can be more helpful in my recovery, when I’m willing to do the work, than talking thru the problem to get to the solution. We all have “track” events in our lives. Some of us throw the javelin, some jump hurdles, some sprint and tire out. That was me for a long time trying to stay sober. I was a fast starter, but I tired easily….always making promises I could not keep. Addictions are like that. Chemicals of one variety or the next had convinced me that I had made a decision to race when I wasn’t even at the starting blocks yet. Realizing that staying stopped is where the rubber meets the road, I have to find out where I am maladjusted and work on those character flaws that keep me stuck in the pack. It’s not about who did me wrong today as much as the lessons I can learn from each experience to move down the track called life. I am not unique, I just have to train differently than most. It’s not a liability…it’s actually an asset to be able to learn how to live on life’s terms and pass it along to someone who may become willing to stop using and restart their lives as well. I’m grateful for chances. I’ve taken some risks, gambled and lost, but I am convinced that living sober is such a much better way to live. When I run, sometimes I have to pull back. The horses inside me can’t run like they used too, but I don’t want to leave this life knowing that I haven’t given the race its best shot. Sometimes, the shot put is heavier, and the mark is harder to achieve. I want to throw up my hands….and quit. And God reminds me of people who didn’t, who stayed the course, and won. The fastest girl I ever saw run on two legs told me a few years back that all she ever wanted, as a little girl, was for her mother to come see her run. But she didn’t for whatever reasons, and as a grown woman, she still reminisces about what might have been. It’s too late for me, as well, to turn back the hands of time…..but I can still take the race I run, one day at a time, and remember that it’s ok to stop along the course and help my brother….good day!…..b

Bible Verse

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