Getting Unstuck

Somewhere in the dark crannies of my mind, I can still remember those comic but tragic times when I would take it to far. Like the time a buddy and I got his Land Cruiser stuck in the national forest. I talked him into it without a doubt,…….always pushing the envelope.  We laughed, sat there on the side of a hill, drank what beers we had left, and took a few tokes before reality set into our long walk. Before we got back to civilization, not only had we started to sober up, but we stopped in the middle of the dirt road and threw verbal stones and fisticuffs. What was once funny……wasn’t so funny anymore. All I wanted was a ride, and another drink…… but not necessarily in that order. Sometimes the well runs dry, and the truck gets stuck in the same night, all while drinking to overcome a craving beyond my mental control.  The warped lives of family and friends that have to watch someone suffer through a prolonged, progressive, and fatal illness with no known cure can polarize and terrorize. Abstinence, according to the doctor’s opinion, is the only way to find relief.  I no longer struggle with the obsession, but I do have bouts of amnesia where I forget the pain and suffering I caused and my part in the whole melodrama. When it comes to substances, if good sense were motor oil, I would be a quart low. The delightful part is that today I know how to get unstuck from those life events that happen from day to day. I get on my knees in the morning, and pick up the phone in the afternoon and call for help…..and that gets me back on the paved road to recovery….good day!.. b

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