The alcoholic illness engulfs all whose lives touch the sufferer’s….warped lives of blameless children, sad wives and parents (BB p. 18)
 There is a whole chapter written about it in the Big Book of AA.  For years, I thought that my drinking was not hurting anybody. Really?! ….how selfish. There is a world of ignorance out there regarding addiction. I hear people say after a man has become addicted, ” what a moron,”  and the fact is that intellect has nothing to do with it. No man I know ever started drinking and using dope to end up hitting rock bottom. How I could be the youngest of six children in a family of 8 and be the only left-hander and alcoholic will remain a mystery for me. It’s not a religious or moral dilemma. It’s not a matter of social class or the color of my skin. I’m left handed because God made me that way. I’m an alcoholic because I say that I am. A recovering one. And I can’t change myself back into a normal drinker any more than I can switch hands and eat cereal with a spoon. There would be a mess if I tried either, I assure you.  Most non alcoholics don’t understand, and it’s not their fault. That’s why 12 step support groups are so vital in my recovery.  The emotional appeals never worked, neither did interventions. Not until I got ready. The surrender had to emerge from my soul. I had to be crushed enough to take a few simple suggestions and ask God for willingness in order to look back and see my own life change. It takes time to repair the damage, but the results are tangible. We had one of the most memorable Christmas times together as a nuclear family this past year, over a cup of gumbo, at the cabin I call home. The biggest gift? A simple understanding that some things I no longer have to explain. They, like many others, stopped watching my mouth long ago, and started watching my feet…..good day!….b

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