Entitlement

Some days,  I feel like I should be placed at the top of the pile or the front of the line. After all, why should I have to wait? Don’t these people know that time is money? Hopefully, you hear the prideful arrogance in that sense of entitlement……. I showed up to my daughter’s school to register her for classes without all proofs of residence required, but I thought I had enough to qualify me.  You see, my thinking gets skewed.  In the past, a man I knew in administration had helped me without me waiting in long lines. Unbeknown to me, he retired. Consequently, they would not complete my registration. So, here is my part in this whole entitlement scenario. The first is that I do not think I should have to wait in line, the second is I didn’t bring the proper proofs, and third is I think they should register her anyway because I received preferential treatment in the past that creates a sense of entitlement in my mind. I began to think I’m owed something for nothing, and invariably step on the toes of others and they retaliate. Seemingly, “without provocation,” the book says. I had already created the drama in my head that never ends well. The good news was that I was honest. The bad news is that it made me mad, which created a resentment, which will destroy me if left unchecked. In my past, I would have drank over it. Today, I must recognize it, claim it, and accept it. It’s entitlement and the thought that the world owes me something is an old idea that has to be smashed. I talked with my sponsor who recommended I write it out. It was the pause button I needed that saved my sobriety….good day!….b

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