Pain

Everyone experiences pain, but not everyone processes it in the same way. It is what makes us relational and human. Death and dying, illness, legal troubles, unemployment, physical pain, disease, poverty, separation, and addiction can cause physical and/or emotional pain. I am amazed when a pitcher undergoes Tommy John surgery and is back to throwing 95 mph fastballs in months. Several years ago, that surgery was career ending.  I am sure there are insufferable pains to get back to that major league level….. An 86 year old friend of my father took his life yesterday after struggling with the death of his son years back, the recent death of his wife, loneliness, and physical pains of arthritis. He left a note that stated, ” I’ve had enough.” There are stories to remind me daily that I must stay in tune with my body, mind, and emotions and seek help when something goes wrong. Nobody else can do it for me because I know me now better than ever. The same is true for my recovery. I can slip back into old behaviors and thoughts when I feel pain.  Most alcoholics are sensitive people, and I am no exception. Feelings can be uncomfortable and cause me to run, or I can accept them, be truthful and honest, and allow them to renew the spirit within and teach me a lesson. For years, I would succumb to the idea that I had control of my actions, thoughts, and emotions, but I was reeling faster than a shrimp boat deckhand. A disease that tells me I won’t feel any pain. It has lied to me all my life, I know the consequences, and yet I can’t let the pains of the past define the joy I can have today. Every man wants hope for a better tomorrow. How I deal with the pains that come are directly proportional to my willingness to change…..good day…b

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