Acceptance Within

imageThere is something about water that calms me, that makes me feel at peace. What I find today are times when I let old ideas, thoughts, and behaviors steal my serenity. The demands sometime call us away from the life we love and they can rob me of my joy. Being in recovery is teaching me acceptance, but I still want to fight it. Social injustices, racial strife, poverty, homelessness, addiction, mental illnesses all are life circumstances that I’ve tried to overcome in my head. The hard part is letting them go in my heart. As far back as man has broken ground, there have been struggles. It’s what makes me human. It’s why I need God. The “acceptance is the answer” paragraph in the BB reminds me that when I’m at odds with others, it’s usually because I haven’t accepted the problem within me. Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today…..and my first thought always is….but what if it’s unacceptable? The paragraph does not discriminate nor disqualify. I simply must accept problems as part of living. If I don’t, there is constant turmoil inside me and reliving old battle scars that seemed to have occurred two lifetimes ago. That breeds self pity, then anger, then resentments, and before I know it, I’m half cocked in a bar somewhere across the county line. Thankfully, God has removed the obsessions. But the thoughts, behaviors, and old ideas can still come back. I am miserable when I allow my former self to take back over because that man I know will drink again to kill the misery. That method doesn’t work anymore. It creates less acceptance and more misery. Accepting people, places, and things just as they are is a reminder of my powerlessness. I cannot control, fix, or cure the world’s problems, but I can accept them…..it’s a choice….good day….b

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