Accepting Criticisms

One criticism after another, and I’m spent. All broken and conflicted over something somebody said or did to me. Chances are it wasn’t even about me, but I’ll perceive it that way. Extremely sensitive to criticism,…. say it and I’ll retreat…do it… and I’ll run. I’ve been that way as far back as I can remember. I guess I go there by default. Learning to live in recovery around difficult people among criticism is hard for me at times. I personalize, internalize, and feel sorry for myself. Now, I give myself a day to get over something, but if unchecked, that 24 hours will quickly turn into 72. This is where the work comes into staying sober. Nobody has ever poured liquor down my throat, or shoved a hand full of pills into my mouth. Criticism can get me there quicker than most any circumstance. It is often unsolicited and never fun. Many times, the spirit in which it is said can naturally turn me into feeling rejected. It hurts worse when I am doing things right. Sensitive little being I am. Acceptance that life is not fair is a cruel hard lesson….. working in the public sector, I am rarely not being scrutinized and criticized. Here is the lesson I have to learn. I must evaluate criticisms and respond well because I can and will make it worse, at times, by my own fortitude. I no longer have to go around defending myself. Today, I know who and what I am, and if I am constantly expending energy doing that, then I have time for little else. Sometimes, God is just trying to get my attention and tell me something. I must be open to the lesson. It can be painful. When someone attacks me, I have to ask, is it my character, behavior, or beliefs that are in question? Retaliation is never a good response. I simply must pause when agitated or doubtful……good day!…b

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