Ego

He proposed that the human psyche could be divided into three parts: the id, ego, and super-ego.  The id seeks immediate pleasure and gratification. The super-ego is the moral compass, and the ego is usually reflected most directly in my actions. When threatened, he surmised, I may employ defense mechanisms including denial, repression, rationalization, and displacement. I’ve employed all four of those in way or another. In fact, I’ve spent so much time there that it was hard digging up all that garbage that I had either repressed or denied in order to see that drugs and alcohol were symptoms of a deeper problem. I’ve spent most of my life in the pleasure zone, and Freud did too. An admitted cocaine user, he gave it to patients in the late 1800’s to help them overcome opiate addiction. I think he knew something about the pleasure principle, and not much has changed in 100 years. After all that, cigars are actually what killed him. I have switched addictions many times just to say I was not one of ‘them.’ I would quit drinking to say I wasn’t an alcoholic, so I would smoke weed. Then I didn’t want to be labeled a pothead, so I would do pills. Then they would get to be too much because no one wants the label of pill head. Then I’d stop both, do cocaine, and have to drink when I came down. That’s addiction, but my pride and ego would not let me admit that I had a problem. The same false pride and ego that will kill me, I know today.  Ego is that chip on my shoulder that judges others for my same faults. It splits my mind into me versus the world. I’ve learned unless I surrender to what I know, ego wins the day. I had to gain some humility, and in the struggle I finally found the beauty of it all….good day!…b

Bible Verse

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