Holiday Triggers

imageI might as well get it out a few weeks before the holiday boom. I spent 25 years of my life for this one time of year. It started about first frost and ended on a bad lake outing on the 4th of July. It’s changes in the weather as much as the holiday season. It’s time to hunt, or in my former life, hanging around the deer camp, drinking until two in the morning, and forgetting where I had put all my gear. It’s frustrating to live like that….but, boy how I anticipated it. It’s usually about the time I switched from beer to scotch. I still remember the warm feeling I got from that first swig. It’s insidious, insane, warped, and completely mind boggling how a guy like me would even show up to family functions taking drink after drink around a family who doesn’t celebrate with wine. I must confess, if I don’t stay busy this time of year, I have invariably relapsed, usually over some nostalgic thought of “what might have been.” The excitement of being off work, or just having an odd feeling over being placed in social settings where I am uncomfortable changed my thinking. Today, I drive my own vehicle, just in case I need to make an early exit. There is no use in standing around a Christmas party watching everybody else get hammered. The reality is that they get up and go to work the next day, and I call in sick and can’t get out of bed; Completely and utterly defenseless against that first drink without God’s help. This will be my fourth consecutive Christmas and Thansgiving sober and for that I am grateful. There is hope because it has gotten much better. Spending time with loved ones and helping others is how I spend my seasons now. I do a little traveling, too. I don’t have to live in pity and remorse over yesteryears, I enjoy the season for what it is and no longer for what I wished it once was….good day!….b

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s