The Reverse

Screenshot_2016-01-24-06-49-36-1Reality can be a hard pill to swallow. Setbacks, throwbacks, and disappointments can all be gut checks that gauge my connectedness on a spiritual level. Its the acceptance and awareness of the plan that has changed in me.  The world doesn’t stop for anybody and to think that rolling around in an addiction to ease my pain seems almost tragically foreign now. I say its tragic because that is right where the enemy wants me…in reverse, looking over my shoulder rather than planting my feet firmly on today’s ground. The most successful people I know prepare for tomorrow but live in the here and now. I want to be more like that. I can’t spend too much time relishing in the glory days, either. The glory days are now, and I had better enjoy them while I can. I ran into an old friend over the holidays who has spurned his own wisdom and explained his nineties cocaine problem away like it was just a bad dream. He had a case of beer in the buggy, and after chatting I thought, ‘if not for the grace of God there I go.’  Living on self will, propelling myself forward, living with the delusion that I can fix my own problems all while stuck in reverse doesn’t work. It’s like trying to get a 71 Superbeetle out of a ditch with no winch. It doesn’t have the power to just pull itself out and neither does my will to overcome my own addictions any more than self knowledge. I’ve read all the books, attended the college of hard knocks, but I still think at times that I’m in control. Today, I’m reminded that I can’t move forward while stuck in the past. Old loves, adventures, and geographic cures never worked either. The idea is that the Father who has given me grace and mercy to learn and grow from my experiences whether good or bad does it for me. The One who keeps me out of the ditch and out of reverse…..blessings!…b

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