I’m sorry

Screenshot_2016-01-30-23-05-39-1For all the lies I’ve told and the times I’ve stolen folks peace of mind, I am sorry. If you’ve ever had any dealings at all with an alcoholic in his cups, you’ve been short changed. I’ve never heard a woman say, ” I just love it when my husband is drunk all the time because he is such a good example to our family of what drinking too much can do for everyone’s well being .” On the contrary I hear bitterness, remorse, self pity, hatred, and disappointment. Most drunks will tell you that they will quit one day. Every drunk I know will get sober, I’m just thankful I was still alive when I did. Many have to sink to the depths of hell with family watching on the sidelines with seemingly little time on the clock. It’s easy to be the victim, but family members need help, not excuses. There are support groups for family members of alcoholics, a place where others understand. I didn’t drink because I didn’t love my family and friends. I drank to overcome a mental obsession and to relieve the physical craving for alcohol…and I was sorry, all the time. I apologized, swore off, moved, changed brands, and made promises I could not keep. Staying sober has helped me see that destructive mental pattern of self pity and doubt. I can make excuses, but ultimately I get out of my recovery what I’m willing to put into it. In the end, what will matter is whether I choose to be a giver rather than a taker. I never had any idea back then that I was robbing myself of the true joy in living. I could barely crack a smile. Today, I belly laugh even when the going gets rough. It’s the little bit of serenity in knowing that I’m in God’s will. When I’m selfish, resentful, and afraid then I’m showing the world that God doesn’t work, but He does, and for that reason alone you will never hear me say that I am sorry…good day!..b

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