Child Support

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This picture was taken by a dear friend. To us, it’s the symbolism of God loosening those barbed wires where my demons hid and transforming our hearts like the purity of snow. That’s true child support from the Giver of Life. It has nothing to do with money, but everything to do with time well spent like a walk in the park with my daughter to hear her discuss her school day. It’s time shared with my son over an open flame, showing him how to use turkey calls in the spring. I’ve known her most all my life, and when God made woman, I’m almost certain He smiled and thought, “this is good.” Right at four years sober, my kids trust me now and know that I have their back. Lord knows, time takes time. I had a parenting paradigm shift a few years back after I had done some writing on my part at choices in my life. Much of what I discovered had been rooted in my own childhood of origin, and I carried that shame with me most of my adult life. That’s what recovery does. It helps me recognize where the fault line lies.  Quitting drinking just got me to the starting point. A friend reminded me last night that we alcoholics sober up and expect everyone else to change, but the change has to occur within me first…..Parenting in any role is no small feat. God’s design by plan had been for me to procreate and never once, even in my darkest moments in active addiction, have I not wanted to take care of my own. I lied, I hid, and I ran at times, but thankfully, I was gifted with a family who believes and teaches that principle as a core value. I had the kids’ physical needs met, but I was lacking myself in spiritual and emotional development. I cannot transmit something I don’t have.  If you are a parent, especially a father working to provide, love, and support your kids, then I really get you. We need hope like the next man. Whatever your present circumstances, fight like a bear to spend time with them. God the Father understands us all.  He took his Son and gave Him to the world to show what love can do. Out of 7 billion people, my double helix DNA is unmatched. Today, I simply believe and trust that His ways are much better than mine. I don’t always get it right when I mumble words after they have closed their own hearts to my experiences. Even Twain said that when he was 14 he thought his father was an ignorant old man, but at 21, he was amazed at how much his father had learned in 7 years. My kids teach me patience, tolerance, and love. That’s the code. God, in his wisdom, has known what I needed all this time….good day!…b

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