Why I am

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My memories and experiences are the only ones that  I can share with you honestly. For a long time, I had no idea who or what I was. I idolized people and stuff and made muck out of most of it, but now I learn something new everyday. Where there once was darkness, at this moment, has become a sphere of light.  Others experiences along our journeys I learn from as well. We all share these to give others hope. It’s why I am. I listen to the stories of transformed lives, and think to myself, “God, you really are so powerful.” It’s not that I never believed in God, I just lived for so long as if He didn’t exist. We laugh at our tragic but comic stories of how we actually make it out of situations alive while drinking; heads shake and laughter erupts when someone shares an experience of which we can so relate. That’s where the common bond is formed, and out of that springs forth relationships with people that I ordinarily would never have known. I’m grateful for those who reached out to me. I had never known true friendship until I got honest and started being a friend. Now, I can call almost anyone in my phone when I am sideways, and because they are centered, they offer me suggestions to get me right sized. It’s simply God working thru others to help me when I can’t help myself if I embrace it. I don’t want to go back to that old guy. I enjoy life much better today with soda water and a twist of lime but thank you. I’m reminded of those who convinced themselves that they could go back and drink like normal men, one with 12 years, the other with 7 years sobriety. They simply stopped doing what worked. I don’t judge them, and I understand them better than most. They both helped me early when I was  drying out. The book tells me that I have but two choices: seek a spiritual solution or go to the bitter end. Since I’ve already traveled on the trail of tears, now I’d rather continue to “trudge the road of happy destiny”……good day!…b

 

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