Lost Ways

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Lord knows. I’ve  said these lengthy memorized thoughts of how I  thought I should speak with Him; and it sounded so good to make no sense. It’s my heart that needed fixing; a spiritual sickness without anyone’s ability to cure. Lost without hope is a scary place. People like myself are qualifiers by what happens to us after we start to drink or use drugs. I’ve never met a successful recreational drug user, and I won’t be fooled again. Make no mistake, pain clinics and pill pushing drug companies are popping up all around us, and friends that I love have turned to the streets and are dropping like flies. The reason is because we get hooked on prescription pills first, then the regulatory commission changes the schedule of the most abused drugs, red flags go up, and doctors stop prescribing for fear of losing their license. In the heartland of America,  whole towns have been wiped out, but it was far too late by then. I have to say a prayer without words for my brothers and sisters who struggle with chronic pain. My heart bleeds for them, and there seems to be only one way to kill that physical pain. It’s no wonder, once addicted, we turn to buying drugs on the street. They are cheaper and in most cases, more potent and lethal. If you’ve ever had the most euphoric feelings on opioids, then you”ll understand why it kills people before they die, but in the end, it really has everything to do with my willingness to change. I never wanted to go out like that, and today when I pray for willingness, the words are often unspoken. God already supplies me with what I need before I even ask. It’s praying to do His will and not my own that I need to focus on more. He gets me in ways I often can’t comprehend. He already understands that I was lost years ago. Thankfully, I understand the story of the prodigal son better. It never was much about him casting his pearls to swine, it was more about the love of the Father who helped him find his way back home……good day!…b

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