Only way out is thru

received_519273391540516I got myself trapped on a hot roof yesterday with seemingly no way down. I experienced the feeling of powerlessness in a whole new way. After placing the screen back on a window that exits to the roof, I realized I had forgotten to place a ladder to let me down. I paced, I cleaned some gutters, I went to both sides of the lowest point, I pondered, and I finally sat down on the shady side waiting for a neighbor to drive by and hopefully see me. I began to get cartoonish in my head and thought perhaps I could take a running jump, grab a hold of a dogwood tree and let it ‘bend’ me to the ground. But then I remembered my age, my dexterity, and also that dogwoods aren’t palms; they don’t bend, they break; and the wood grain is so tight, their logs burn slow.  It reminded me of life twenty years ago.  As I laid in the shade, I surmised the only way down was back thru the same way I had gotten there, just like recovery, but what works for one may not work for another. I need to remember we all take many paths to get to the same road. I had bright ideas, or so I thought, but life choices got me trapped in an abyss where I could not escape with my best effort or thinking. I was controlled by my addiction to booze and pills. So, I had to crawl back thru the hole that got me there. I had to clean out my gutters; the junk in my trunk. I had to bend a few more limbs and break a few more branches before I finally had been beaten enough to see how tough life had become. Yes, it numbed me out and delayed my life coping skills. It also wrecked several important relationships in my life at the time. Today, I’m grateful that God gave me the clarity and courage to sift thru the years of experiences that taught me that I was drinking the poison and wanting others to die. It’s my outlook, thinking, and behaviors that kept me trapped. My experiences have taught me to pause, stay calm, and surrender; a simple but not always easy approach to help me along the journeys of my experience…#letgoofego…b

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