The Program


What does it mean when someone says that they are working a “program?” Recovery involves change and growth, but mostly willingness. It also involves  action even when I fail. The book says that we alcoholics are undisciplined, so we let God show us how to get and stay sober by working the steps outlined in the book. It’s not always easy, but it’s rewarding to make it thru the day without the obsession to use mind altering chemicals. Boy, how I hated that feeling of being out of control emotionally and not being able to stop from taking that first drink. It’s a strange twist that kept me in a dazed fantasy land of ‘what ifs.’ I don’t deny that there are times that I have thoughts that a drink would be nice, but I proved time and again that it never stopped with just one. I know people who can do it and I don’t understand. That’s why I need a support network around me who does. Days later and pickled as a cucumber, I would dry out and repeat the cycle. I binge drank for a long time before I became an everyday drinker. Binging curbed the cravings, and I was able to stuff what responsibilities I had in between each binge. I knew I was powerless, but life hadn’t gotten totally unmanageable in my mind. I was a sick man denying the truth of my own existence, but then again, no one likes to admit complete defeat. Today, I have to humble myself, go to meetings, share where I am, and reach out for others to help me unravel the madness. They’ve been there, like most of us. It’s refreshing to relocate to an area that I’ve visited often, go to a meeting, and see others staying sober that I’ve met years before. It reminds me that the “program” works. Now, to get with the “program” has taken on new meaning. It involves acceptance, faith, work, admission of shortcomings, amends, prayer and meditation, and service to others. I can only do my part by staying spiritually connected and that’s a life I don’t want to miss….good day!…b

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