Search for God

imageI have always believed that God doesn’t make too hard of terms with those who seek Him. As I share my faith walk, I hope that I don’t lose you at the word God or the idea and willingness to seek Him. After all, the concept of God can be intimidating, especially in early sobriety, but I found out that my mess wasn’t caused by God. I was ‘churched’ all of my formative years and thru many trials, fears, and experiences, I began to ask the questions that most of us have when we go thru tough times, like “who are you, God?”, “where are you, God?” and “how could these days be so full of troubles, God?” I’ve never flatly refused to believe in the existence of God; however, my actions weren’t in line with my words so I turned to idolatry. I idolized many gods on different levels: people, relationships, religion, money, sex, power, drugs, alcohol, cars, and jobs to name a few. I am a practicing Christian now, and a believer that the book I read called the Holy Bible, translated by King James and his scholars, was penned by men who passed down stories thru time to show a profound impact that sin has in the life of man and woman. In faith terms, I believe that I am that man, born of sin, who has tried everything under the sun to fill the void. And that’s where I’m evolving in this process known as recovery. Spiritual growth is not stagnant. I’m either growing or withering. The fruits of sin are the results of my choices. Being a Christian doesn’t mean I’ll always get it right, but the fruits I bear today are not the ones I bore. What it means is that if I want to continue on my road of recovery, I must stay connected to God by working with others who don’t play religion. I’ve had enough of that;  there was no god there.  I missed the point looking for something to fill that hole. What I have found is that I find God when I look for God. It took 12 steps and four and a half years before I’ve finally come full circle….good day!…b

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